“We’re adults without children; we have the luxury to design our lives the way we want.”
When you don’t have children – for whatever reason – you find yourself outside of western society norms (as a western woman, this is the only experience I can speak to, but I don’t imagine that is massively different in other cultures).
On one hand, this is liberating: “We get to design our lives however we want!”.
On the other hand, this liberation comes with an overwhelming smorgasbord of choices.
When you have few constraints and virtually unlimited options, how do you decide to design your life? How do you decide to live your life?
This is especially true if you did not decide to not have children if infertility or circumstances made that decision for you.
If you wanted children, you probably imagined your life a certain way, and that was taken away from you, leaving a void. A life ahead of you that you have to colour in using a different set of crayons than the ones you thought you were going to have.
At first, the crayons will likely be black and grey and beige, but as you work yourself through the grieving and healing process, you’ll increasingly want to start adding in some colour.
But which colours?
Being able to do what you want, when you want sounds amazing – unless you didn’t choose that path. Unless you’re only on that path because you were forced or shoved down it. In which case, it almost feels like a burden.
You want to make the most of it, after all, don’t you deserve that? Seeing as you didn’t get the babies? But also, you feel resentful for having to make decisions. You’d already made the decision and you didn’t get what you chose.
You’re working with a double-edged sword:
- All the options #yay
- Didn’t get the option you really wanted #boo
But, if you’re anything like me*, you’ll be determined to make the very best of it.
(*See here for My Story)
Live a life not “less than” just because you didn’t get to become a mum.
To live an exceptional and extraordinary life almost as a f*** you to infertility or circumstances.
If you can’t have the chocolate cake, you’ll have the ice cream with sprinkles. And a chocolate flake. Hand-delivered by Ryan Gosling.
But where to start? Well, that’s where I come in.
If you’ve processed your grief around not having children and have been working on healing the wounds (or are completely happy and confident in your child-free decision), then I can work with you to uncover what’s next, and be there as you start to design a life on your terms.
To discover more about coaching with me, click here…