Something I know for sure: Confidence is a Decision.
Maybe you don’t believe me – but it’s what I’ve found to be true. It’s not an EASY decision to make, but it is a decision, nonetheless
I haven’t shared my ‘origin story’ before – here it is…
Let’s go back to September 2018. I’d been running my business for three years. I was doing well, and I had grown solely by word of mouth and networking.
But you probably wouldn’t have recognised my face. Between launching my Facebook page in May 2016 and the moment which I’m about to tell you about, I’d posted just five photos of me – and only ONE on my Instagram page.
I was hiding in my business – and not just my face.
Back to September ’18…
I’d discovered my niche and had been working with several kickass female entrepreneurs for over a year. I was copywriting and content creating for them, doing my best work – and they were seeing the results of that. They were massively visible, and their businesses were growing.
But I was frustrated. Oh. So. Frustrated. You see, I knew EXACTLY what it took to grow a brand online, and it was my job to do that for my clients.
But I wasn’t doing it for me.
And I didn’t want to stay in the shadows any longer. I didn’t want to be backstage – I wanted to be ON stage, growing MY community and helping even more women to grow their businesses.
But I was afraid. I had no confidence in myself. I thought I wasn’t good enough. I wasn’t as cool or as pretty or as young or as thin as all the women who were crushing it (as if any of that matters – but it did to me back then).
Looking back, I’m not sure if I was more afraid that people would judge me – or that they would ignore me. And I’m not sure which fear is worse.
But the thing is… I’ve always had big ambitions. I’ve known that I wanted to run my own business since I was about 8 (when, in fact, I did start a business that made actual £££ – but I’ll save that story for another time).
Yes, I was running my own business. And yes, I was doing it profitably. But I also knew that I was made for more – and the fact that I could see the women I was working with doing and being more made me feel as if I was being left behind.
My frustration grew and grew (another thing I now know for sure is that if you are made for more, it’s not something you can ignore) until one afternoon when I was doing some visualisation of how I wanted my future to look.
For whatever reason, I can’t remember now, I saw myself and Marie Forleo together, in front of a step-and-repeat at an event – as peers (I wasn’t having my photo taken with her as a ‘fan’ – we were both speaking at this imaginary event).
It was at this moment that I realised how far away from my dream I was – and worse, if I didn’t do anything about how I was showing up in my business, nothing would ever change. I’d spend the rest of my life writing other people’s copy and content for £25 an hour.
I’m not going to lie – there were plenty of tears and a bit of snot at this point.
But this was a “breakdown to breakthrough” moment.
I knew that if nothing changed, nothing would change – and that I’d look back and not regret actively pursuing my dreams.
I could stay hidden and frustrated and small, or I could get brave and get out there.
So, I made a decision. I decided that I was just going to go and be the woman I wanted to be.
My confidence level hadn’t changed, but I realised that I didn’t have time to sit around waiting to feel better about myself. (And – and this is no coincidence – the longer you “wait” to feel confident, the less confident you become. But more on that in a minute).
Now, this wasn’t a “fake it until you make it” situation.
It was literally the realisation that how confident I felt was 100% down to me. That I could choose to feel unconfident and scared, or I could choose to publicly step into the woman I already knew I was and be her.
I wasn’t pretending. I just decided to drop my veil of self-doubt.
It was as easy – and as hard – as that.
I took action. I made a public announcement on all my social media platforms that I was going to go live on Facebook that week – giving a time and date, so I couldn’t get out of it! I invested in a graphic designer to design my logo and visual brand, and I booked a personal branding photoshoot with Maryanne Scott. It’s funny when I look back that I was so terrified to make the call to Maryanne (I literally felt sick as I punched in the numbers), and yet now we’re close friends, business partners on a joint venture, and I’m her go-to girl when she needs a ‘face’ to try out a new photoshoot location!
I learned the lesson that confidence is a decision – but I also learned that the more you decide to be confident, the more you are confident. It’s a virtuous circle.
Showing up in my business – along with consistently creating quality content – has done amazing things for my business:
– I transformed my business from a done-for-you service (copywriting) to a coaching & training model
– I sold-out and over-subscribed the beta round of my signature coaching/training program
– I’ve built a continually growing email list
– I get invited to speak at events*
– I get interviewed on podcasts & Youtube channels*
– I get invitations to guest-blog on other people’s platforms*
– I’ve grown my business year-on-year, profitably
– Most people come to my discovery calls already knowing me and want to work with me
– I have plenty of content in a variety of formats to re-package, monetise and sell
*I’ve never had to ‘ask’ to speak, be interviewed or guest-blog, people have always come to me.
I had so many reasons to not feel confident about myself and my business. At the same time, I had so many reasons to feel confident about myself and my business. But the fact is, it doesn’t even matter either way – I made the decision to be confident regardless.
In my Mistress Of Your Message® program, I take you through a process that will uncover the woman you really are in your business – and once you find her, the clarity that brings will help you to drop that veil of self-doubt, and you’ll want to get out there and share your business and skills and all-round-wonderfulness with the world.
It’s not a ‘quick win’, and it won’t happen overnight (we work together on-on-one for at least seven weeks), but the results will last a lifetime.
Do you feel you’re made for more? Are you ready for more? Find out more about my Mistress Of Your Message® program here…